What WoW means to me and how is it helping

As I am putting together the WoW framework and am one of its early practitioners, let me share my perspectives and experiences while using it.

To begin with I started closely observing various situations I passed through during the day, starting right from the time I got up in the morning, and continuing till I went to sleep at night. Initially it was very difficult to be an observer, while simultaneously being intimately part of the reality that was unfolding. But by constantly reminding myself that I am also an observer, slowly I started getting it. It was a very different and interesting experience to be in two roles at the same time. But it was also motivating when I started seeing things I was blind to earlier.

I have always found “Why?” to be a very powerful question to reveal the hidden connections. I started doing that with everything I was observing. For example, when I found that I tend to repeat same behavior in a given situation again and again, I asked myself why possibly I may be doing so. After some time I realized that without my being aware, I seem to have decided to choose one of the many behavior options in that situation. Over time it had become a habit and I had even stopped thinking about it.

So next question was “Why did I do that?” Probably at that time it was a right choice. But I had never tried to look at it again to see whether it was still a valid choice. My mind just kept giving same instructions based on what had worked so far.

I noticed that what I observed with my actions also applied to my interactions with others. It was just a copy of earlier behavior in a similar situation. My mind had gone to sleep and was just mechanically repeating its instructions.

One day I had a startling experience. I met a person who had a great resemblance with someone I know well, and for some reason dislike him. Surprisingly I felt the same dislike for the person I had just met for the first time. Something in me established a non-existent connection and reproduced the same emotion. When it became clear what was happening, I could now keep it aside and deal with the new acquaintance without any bias. As it turned out, he was a nice person and we had a good relationship thereafter.

As I started understanding the decisions behind the actions & interactions, the next “Why” was about the decisions themselves? Soon it started becoming clear that our assumptions beliefs and values (which collectively I like to call as opinions), are the source of everything else. They are the key to understanding our visible behavior. Let me give a few real life examples.

Yesterday I had gone to a path lab to get blood reports. The sample was taken previous night. But yesterday evening I was told that the report is not yet received. Some waiting and further questioning revealed that the person at the report desk assumed it was yesterday’s sample and kept looking at reports for the day only, while it was lying there all along in another bunch of reports. Surprisingly even though I had mentioned it, the assumption that it was report for the same day was so strong that her mind had blocked out date of sample.

This example clearly shows the power of our assumptions. But even more interestingly it highlights the need to understand not just our ways of working, but also be watchful for others’ way of working that directly impacts us.

Another example that I come across again and again shows us the power of our beliefs. Majority of us believe that those who are senior to us and / or have more years of experience are more knowledgeable and mature. This belief is so strongly ingrained, especially with us Indians, that we never even question it though the stark reality sometimes is quite the opposite. Add to this the value attached to respecting the elders, and we have a deadly cocktail. I enjoy watching the TV serials for this same reason. They are a reflection of our social and cultural ethos. One such current serial on Sony TV recently had an episode where an elderly person behaved during a marriage ceremony which resulted in completely spoiling relationship between the two families. But not a word was said just because he could not be questioned being an elder. How unfortunate that we never even think of reviewing such beliefs and values.

It is so important to know our opinions, and see how they are influencing our decisions, which in turn lead to our repeated behaviors. Unless we do that there is no hope of having any permanent change for better. From time to time, we may decide to change our actions & interactions, but often they turn out to be like New Year resolutions. For a couple of days our enthusiasm will keep it going, but soon the old habits bring us back to square one.

I will keep coming back with more insights and more examples about the WoW approach for our life and work. Stay tuned.

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